Used Dogs intro

Billy Two Knives, the dog picture makes me want to write this.

The phrase Used Dogs has been on my mind for weeks now. Used Dogs means a dog who has had 2 or 3 homes before they get to you. Used Dogs are usually 6 months to 2 years old.

All Used Dogs have a very lengthy back story, usually filled with equal parts stupid  n cruel.

Most can be saved, but you have to know when you've reached what's possible n what you are gonna have to accept. Pinky is the definition of this concept.

This is a bran new project and it's gonna take time. I will most likely have daily thoughts on it. Billy Two Knives will no doubt be featured extensively, as she is my current and most trying Used Dog to date.

Every other day now I can be heard saying. No More Used Dogs. Billy Two Knives can have that affect on you.

Okay. I'm going to let you in on a secret I've harbored for a couple years now. Mind you this is a secret so it's just between you and me, don't tell anybody else.

For a couple years I've had it in my head a three dog story ( Billy, Pinky and Tootsies now) that would make a good children's book. Basically the story of three dogs on a journey with a desire to belong. Sorta Wizard of Oz except OZ is the end game not the jumping point. The story would be all Animals, Horses, Dogs etc. Example Whippets are the runners Billy, Pinky N Tootsie see running by with messages from here to there. One Horse (Old Smokey a Dappled Rocky Mountain Horse) is the wise old horse who tells them of a home founded by a dog named Boomie, currently run by Rudy where dogs can find a good home with lots of love and friends.

Now that Billy is in the story I'd include a tornado sequence, no not that one. In this one Billy with great excitement runs into a tornado so she can fly up into the air and see where they are and where they want to go. After which she's gently set down and wants to go again.

Billy Two Knives Action Hero.

Pinky, very country in Bib Overalls, one strap unhooked. Straw hat, stalk of wheat sticking out one side of his mouth.

Tootsie, the most energetic, motor mouthed tiny Dachshund you've ever met.

Other Books By Pez Outlaw/sj glew
Pez Outlaw Diary
The Cereal Box Price Guide
Princess Puddy n The Golden Bowl
The Barrel Book

Oh Crap, this is my circus and these are my monkeys.

Not my circus, not my monkeys. Oh Crap, this is my circus and these are my monkeys.


Raising and training any dog is not the easiest job in the world. Undoing other peoples mistakes is even harder. I've had people who look at how my dogs behave, quite often actually and say how they wish there dogs behaved so well.

My training is 24-7 for the lifetime of the dog. A lot of common sense & a lot of forgiveness. Lately one thought keeps occurring to me. Dogs understand many human words, how many dog words do we understand? So tell me again, who's the smarter animal.

Humans have a bad tendency to try to make a dog conform to some human idea of what a dog should be and how they should act. Showing little regard for the dogs point of view. Mostly this works because dogs are such wonderful creatures and they allow it.

My way of training is cohabitation, which tries to maintain as much as possible of the inner, natural dog while teaching a dog the important things that make cohabitation possible. Figure out what's actually important and what you can let go. Use common sense, be consistent and try to understand the dogs point of view n it's needs.

All of this kinda got shot in the ass when I met Billy Two Knives. Now people say, my she's behaving so good. To which I'm thinking, Oh My God, How must your dog be behaving for you to think she's being good.

Billy Two Knives is an absolutely wonderful dog and she actually suites me just fine, but I gotta tell ya my lawyer skills are really being tested on her behalf.


The thing about sharing your life with dogs is they break your heart when they die. If I could through a miracle have 3 dogs back in good health that are gone now they would be.

1. Chica Boom a big red female Bull Mastiff. My first Mastiff and a very tough act to follow as she was the most perfect in every way dog I have ever share time with. Boomie's spirit/soul was a very old one, she was on her final journey and she share those eight final years with me. My life was affected in the most positive way by those eight years. Boomie was a Budda Dog and she taught me a lot. She died of cancer.

2. Rudy a big red female Bull Mastiff. Rudy was a newer spirit than Boomie and my great hope is that she returns to me someday. Rudy passed last year from cancer. I miss Rudy more than my words can tell you.

3. BIG
Another example of a used dog was BIG a Neapolitan Mastiff . Big came to us after his people (a couple) committed suicide together leaving BIG and another Mastiff in dog crates for days until the bodies were discovered. Because of this BIG had issues about confinement. We found this out when we left him in the washroom for a couple hours while we were gone. Big through nervousness shredded the linoleum flooring. Lesson learned by us.
BIG also chewed up window trim because of nerves.
BIG was the sweetest most lovable male dog I've known. Big had a very big heart, unfortunately that heart had a very thin wall, which was a death sentence for him. He was running in the field one day and just collapsed, which is when he was diagnosed. Nothing to be done, no cure, BIG and I just ignored it for the next year until he broke my heart by dying. I loved BIG very much, he is missed and remembered.

One dog who has returned to me is Soup Bone a brindle Brazilian Mastiff. Soupy was the most dedicated, to me, Dog I've ever known. Ole soup was always just a few feet away from me, usually in the shadows. Soup defied all odds and stayed at her self described post for 12 years. Unheard of for her size of dog not to mention al of her body issues her whole life. Soupy returned to me in the form of Billy Two Knives, without all the anger issues. I guess this time she grew a little. I recognition Soupy in Billy in ways that are hard to describe to you, but it's her. One way is Soupy having a lot of mobility issues tended to live a lot of her life in dreams. I watched those dreams for 12 years and I am now seeing Billy live Soupy's dreams this time around. I'm very happy for her. I will never stop defending her. Soupy as Billie deserves this go round.

Dogs Do Crazy Shit

Every dog needs a very good Lawyer.
For the first time in my role as Dog Lawyer, I'm running out of spit. Billy Two Knives has that affect on you. No way will I give up but really Billy, a little help here, PLEASE!

Chew toys
$500 pair of eye glasses
Tootsie and Billy mangled and destroyed Kathryn Ann's new eyeglasses. I don't know who did what, just that a new pair cost $500.00.


washroom flooring
BIG a Neapolitan Mastiff . Big came to us after his people (a couple) committed suicide together leaving BIG and another Mastiff in dog crates for days until the bodies were discovered. Because of this BIG had issues about confinement. We found this out when we left him in the washroom for a couple hours while we were gone. Big through nervousness shredded the linoleum flooring. Lesson learned by us.

window trim
BIG also chewed up window trim because of nerves.

rolls of TP
All dogs think this one is funny. Rudy big red female Bull Mastiff though made this one an art form by TPing the house. We no longer keep TP in the holder in one bathroom as a direct result of Rudy's relentless obsession with TP.

paper towels & Kleenex
Tootsie princess danger mouse female small Dachshund.  Toots is obsessed with Kleenex and paper towels, these are materials that are her birthright to make snowflakes out of. Walk by her, she's on a chair or the bed, she will pick your pocket and off she goes like a shot. Outta the way, Outta the way, Snow Flake to make, Snow Flake to make.

sox n shoes
All dogs chew shoes. that ones on you, keep your shoes picked up.

Sox though, Sox are like a sports ball in the dog world. Dogs love to play with sox. this one does not rise to the level of I give a shit. Except in how funny dogs are stealing then running off with your sox, All of my dogs get knotted up old sox to play with as pups. Proby, brindle female Bull Mastiff likes to just carry them around in her mouth. Tootsy likes to steal and run hoping you will chase her. I happily obliged.

bras
Kinda personal. lets just say two bras down. the humanity.

pens
Billy Two Knive, between 1 and 2 dozen pens chewed to date. Pencils to numerous to count, these are just appetizers.

CDs
credit cards

logs n tree limbs
Bigger dogs like Billy, Proby and Rudy require bigger sticks to play with. They love to chew on what most would call cord wood casually in the front yard.  Clearing brush/tree limbs, bigger dogs are forever grabbing some of what your carrying, saying no this ones mine. OK.

table n chair legs
tape measures, cell phones, keys n money

small dogs
horse poo, more a snackable

small items in general
you lay it lower than table high n you just gave it to the dogs. I don't make the rules.

Dead Things
Dead Rabbit in a Hay Bale. This was a very bad precedent to be set. Billy found it, Billy told Tootsy about it. Now all hay bales must be inspected by Billy and Tootsy for wonderful chewy surprises in the centers. MMMMM.

Smelly stuff

Billy n the smelly bush w/ flowers
just strange. Bush was in full bloom and billy kept rubbing on it to get the smell. Flowers, I strongly encourage this one, as it really does not damage the bush.

stinky tomatoes



Billy's delight at the chance to chase a twister to OZ.
It was a very windy day. I thought Billy's behavior was based on fear at first. Billy was running like a mad woman inside all that wind. Then it dawned on me she was actually very excited. The wind it turns out is just another thing Billy likes to play with. All sort of things flying in every direction for her to chase. To Billy's way of thinking, How could it get any better than this?

Billy Dog update.
Billy is now 4yrs old and one of the best dogs I've ever known.
Billy Dog at 4yrs chose her person n it's Kathy, this delights me.
Billy feels it's her job in life accompany n protect Kathy, good dog.

Correcting Stupid

My favorite breed of dog is female red Bull Mastiff.  Female is an important distinction for the following reason. There is currently a book being advertised to help with the problems people have with Bull Mastiffs. So before I state the following I want you to understand I do not prefer Male Dogs in general n male Bull Mastiffs in specific.

Reason I'm a strong believer in pack rules n pack lifestyle. I know about myself that I but heads with male dogs. Not good for them not good for me. I find to many things male dogs do to be challenges to my position as pack leader. For that reason I avoid male dogs because I don't want to put them through that. Pinky is the Exception as is the most gentle n kind of male dogs I've met. One exception being a Neapolitan Mastiff we had named BIG.

So anyway this book n mind you I'm only talking about Red female Bull Mastiffs. Within those narrow parameters I find the promos for this book very confusing. I find with Red female Bull Mastiffs all you gotta do is get outa the way n let in my opinion one of the most Budda like dogs I've ever met emerge. These dogs are the most pure, evenhanded, thoughtful n gentle dogs I've ever had. Mind you I've worked had over 50 dogs in my lifetime, which have been a big cross section of breeds. For me Big Red Dogs are the gold standard of dogs. It's taken me a lifetime of searching to find them.

Go into Proby n how dark colored dogs are treated differently by the world n therefore view the world differently. - Proby- Soupy.

This is a very touchy subject but one I've found to be very true. Dark colored dogs are treated with hesitance n fear by humans they encounter. Which makes a dog apprehensive of humans in general. Soupy n Proby both Brindle dark big dogs have manifested an isolated reaction to this treatment by humans. Soupy was a shadows kind of dog, she liked to observe from the shadows of life. Proby, a good natured puppy forever type dog positions herself at a distance to avoid the response, coming over when she feels you are good n want her. Soupy was no way never.

So when a dark colored dog seems to be distant n reluctant, please understand it's because of how they have been treated by humans there whole lives. They did not start it.

On the subject of who started what. I spend my whole life protecting my dogs from humans because in any fight between a human n a dog, the dog always loses. You say, WHAT! Ok dog bites man, you think the dog won. WRONG, the dog usually loses it's life over that one, no matter if the dog was right or wrong in their actions. To me it's just plain not a fair fight by any stretch of the imagination. Bottom line, people please protect your dogs.

The process of correcting other peoples stupid
the amount of stupid others do to a used dog.

maintaining the inner dog. Bringing that out while removing the bad.

Aunt Lou

Aunt Lou

Aunt Lou

For a dog that has never had a pup of her own, Aunt Lou has sure raised a lot of Pups. Every new puppy for the last 10 years has been taken care of, played with n generally tolerated by Aunt Lou. Besides being a terrific farm dog, she is also the one everybody comes to to have there ears licked. Went lame two years ago n thought she was a goner, but nope outta nowhere came back strong as ever. God loves a good dog. 

Aunt lou is currently raising Tootsie/DrPuddy. Aunt Lou took one look at Lilly n said, "are you kidding me". Lil came at 6 months old n at least twice Aunt Lou's size. All I heard was "No Way Buddy, This one is yours". Who could blame her, she already had Dr Puddy, who is a handful. 

Pinky

This is PINKY.- Doberman

Pinky is the perfect example of how you have to know when your work is done. 

About 5 years ago I was out doing chores as winter was just setting in. My eyes were drawn to something white in the far corner of a pasture barking at me. I didn't understand right away but it was pinky pleading with me to let him live here.

People had Thrown Pinky away. literally. He had burns on his back n had been on the road for a few weeks. He chose us.

Pinky's temperament when I met him was nervous as hell. Pinky threw up and had diarrhea for over a week. He also chewed everything.

I spent years building his self esteem and trying to teach him cohabitation rules. At a point though I had to let a bunch of stuff go because to correct it would just sent him backwards on his stability. Wrong word and he's still prone to very nervous behavior. You have got to know when you have done what you can and let the other shit go.

Pinky hates Coyotes with every fiber of his being. He patrols daily to keep them off our property. Since we have Horses, his passion is very welcome.  Coyotes are dangerous though in groups n Rudy definitely had to bail Pinky out once. Rudy went in low n totally silent. The Coyotes/racoons (don't tell Pinky) chose exit when they saw Rude.  All limits were off n those critters could sense the seriousness of the situation real fast. Rudy was not vague on this subject.

A dog barks to give warning or to push the subject away. When a dog does not bark n comes at you, then it's very serious.  Mastiffs are not real big on barking.

I think the Revenuers are after Pinky, again. He probably better lay low for a couple of weeks. Kinda hard to be a country boy these days, so many rules n regulations. Poor boy can't even take a walk mostly on his own land.  Good luck ever catching him, he's a boy that don't wanna be caught n it aint his first rodeo. Pinky says maybe we paint black stripes on him, that way the revenuers think he's a Zebra. You know cause revenuers leave Zebras alone, everybody knows that.
Pinky wants to know how he would go about proposing a county ordinance that if you are not a Clinton County Michigan property taxpayer you are not allowed to hunt in Clinton County? Pinky wants to know. 
Pinky has set up a facebook page to promote this new county ordinance. this is not a joke. 
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Hunting-by-Property-Taxpayers-Only-in-Clinton-County-Michigan/1501602423436161?ref=hl#

Billy Two Knives

The activities of this dog are sanctioned by Pez Outlaw. 0k9 Licensed To Dig.

Billy Two Knives - Black Great Dane - Ears not cut.

When I met Billy Two Knives, first eye contact. I gave her a treat then held her head gently, put my face in hers so I could peek into her soul n told her she was home.

Billy was found by the nephew of a friend tied to a tree in winter. The nephew went to the house and offered the people $100.00 for Billy, which they happily accepted. After a week he realized she was to much dog for there little family, so his aunt brought Billy to us. To his credit the nephew didn't mention the $100.00 he'd spent to save her, to the contrary he sent food collar leash etc. 

How did Billy Two Knives get her name?

Very early on after her arrival at our home we came into the room to see Billy running around the living room with an open pair of scissors in her mouth. To my knowledge there is no Indian word for scissors, so I logically concluded that an Indian name for her would be Billy Two Knives. I take my fractional Indian Heritage seriously.


That's Why We Can't Have Nice Things

If Billy makes it to 1 year old, I think she just might be OK.

You know how on TV shows they start in the present then they shift back to 3 days ago or 13 hours earlier. I hate that, but here we are. This story happened 24 hours ago.

Every day at 2pm we go out for mid-day chores. So far so good, until Kathryn Ann says where's Billy. I tell her, no problem I gotta go in to get the hose (hose freezes if left outside) in 5 minutes, I'll get Billy then. 

Well it's home alone all over again. Five to ten minutes inside the house alone n Billy had chewed up another ink pen, "CARPET ART". Billy is very very tall n on top of the refrigerator is about the only place ink pens are safe. That's not the scary part, just the side bit. When I found Billy she was running, yes running around the living room with an open pare of scissors in her mouth. One of the two handles in her mouth scissors wide open, just tearing about. Five minutes that's all, just five minutes n we go straight to running with scissors. Sofas n chairs survived, somehow.

I know, I know to crazy to believe, but trust me you can not make that kind of shit up. On another note, Billy has also learned how to turn the handle on the back door n let herself back in the house. Well crap, what next. If she does not kill herself, I think we are gonna be fine.

And that reader is why we can not have nice things. Well that n being poor. Otherwise nothin stoppin us.

Billy Power

Here's something I'd like to point out to anyone thinking a BIG Dog is a good idea. They are but please take the following into consideration. Billy poops 4 to 5 times every day, she's a pup, a big one but a pup n pups poop. I run Billy twice a day for a total of about 3 hours while I do daily Horse chores. Three hours n she does not get even a tiny bit tired. Bill's energy level is frightening, she has a very high metabolism. Lots of food in, lots of poop out. Training is constant, Measured corrections are constant. The dog is BIG n before you know it they start thinking there name is No Billy settle down. Seriously folks don't get A BIG Dog unless you understand these things, it's not good for the dog.

Me I love BIG Dogs, but they are not a good idea for everybody. Pink n Bill are perfect examples of to much dog for your average family, which is why they chose me. 

One more thing. Every morning I like to start the day with a little love from Tootsie Princess Danger Mouse, she's just to cute for words n always makes me laugh. Laughing the very first thing when you get up in the morning is a very precious gift. Well now Billy wants in on it. So you got a 50 pound pup acting like a 3 pound pup. Much mayhem ensues. Toots grabs a finger, Bill grabs an arm. Toots bounces on your leg, Bill jumps on your shoulders. Toots runs like a shot out of a canon at ankle level under n around every thing. Bill crashes at hip level into everything. It's still funny n yes I laugh a lot, but at the same time the potential for destruction is very frightening to say the least. Toots n Bill are yin n yang, twins.